What If the Real World Was Like Twitter? First of all, it would be very loud.

I’m going to start this blog by saying that I love twitter. I’ve used my Twitter account since 2009, made plenty of friends and had the occasional celebrity follow. Twitter is an awesome community, and it comes as no surprise that it is also a top social marketing tool. But, before you start auto-tweeting all of your blog posts (don’t worry, I’m guilty too..) think before you tweet. Twitter can engage you to customers, or it can make you seem distant and obnoxious. How would you like to appear?

Let me paint a picture of what Twitter would look like in the real world.

Mark walks by a building and notices flashing lights, loud music, and lots of chatter. There is one unassuming door with the simple word “twitter” across the top. Mark opens the door, and a friendly bouncer greets him.

“Hi Mark, welcome to Twitter! Here’s the rules – come find me if you need help,” hands him a pamphlet and disappears. Before Mark could get scared, a celebrity runs past him drinking a beer and laughing at the top of his lungs.

“Oh my gosh was that?” his shock is interrupted by 1000 people running behind him yelling at the star.

“Hey, I drink that beer too!”

“OMG your like my favorite! Follow Me”

“You are so dumb, why did you even laugh at that!”

Then, before Mark could blink, a second wave of people pop up from nowhere:

“Want more people to follow you, follow me and I’ll tell you how!”

“Get coupons on all your favorite beers.”

“All the celebrity news you can stand! Follow right now!”

Still in shock, but not deterred. Mark ventures further into Twitter and begins to tweet.

“Hi, My name is Mark.”

He looks around waiting for someone to respond. Nothing.

Then after 5 minutes (3 days in the real world) someone appears. It’s Josh.

“Hi, my name is Josh.”

Mark cheers up. Now he is going to have the fun everyone else was having. He begins to tweet more, writing about his dog, his favorite food and his favorite sports. More and more followers appear, but they don’t say anything. Mark looks around at them wondering why they aren’t talking. Then after he had 15 followers, and it had been a few weeks, someone replies.

“Thanks for the follow check out my website at ___”

Mark is devastated. Is this what Twitter is about? His inbox starts to fill with spam messages as his timeline is full of links and self glorifying posts.

He tried replying to the posters but it was as if they couldn’t hear him. They just continued posting.

#isanyonelistening Mark screams.

The room goes quiet. Mark opens his eyes to see everyone looking at him. Then the chatter begins. Uproars of chatter. Uncontrollable chatter. Mark has started a trend.

#isanyonelistening started popping up around him.

Mark ran out of Twitter in disgust – never to return.

Is this what your brand is doing to people? Do you engage with your customers or do you leave them out there feeling ignored? Think about it the next time you tweet- Don’t be tweet-noxious.

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